There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
