there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
