when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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