it's too hot outside to masturbate.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
