Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
