He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
