im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
