I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Randomize
