How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize