who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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