apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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