Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
