I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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