were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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