i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
