yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
