Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
