no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
