I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize