At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize