He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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