dude i'm inner monologue high
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
