at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
All I want is dick and wine.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
