My hand turned me down
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
