You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
