You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
