i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
