you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
