what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
