I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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