I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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