The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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