have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
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