There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize