Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
