so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
