O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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