He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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