I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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