I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize