The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
This is my gift to your gina
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
