thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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