Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There's always time for handjobs
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
