you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
this will be a night to untag.
She bit a glass in half.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
