Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
