Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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