giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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