Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
