Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
