Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
