i may or may not be watching the land before time
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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