White coat. Heels.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize