Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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