i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
