Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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