I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Randomize
