I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize