All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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