Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
