i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
